Things that currently make me want to put my (or someone else’s) hair out:
1. “Protocol”. I give said, “Protocol” the quotations because this protocol seems to only be used when it benefits others, and by nature, does NOT benefit me. This includes but is not limited to: Filling out paperwork, going to inane meetings, and having to call parents because, “Your baby is acting a fool.”
2. Duty. Every morning every teacher is expected to be at their assigned duty post. Mine is at the door where students walk through the metal detectors and get their bags checked to candy and junk food (and anything else they shouldn’t have). I hate duty. At 7:45 my coffee has not yet sunk in, and I am too tired to fuss at, say hello to, hug or smile at children. Or adults. Or even at myself. Call me Ms. Grouchy-pants.
3. The sound of chairs scooting. Ok, now this one you have to be a teacher to understand. My students work in centers, so every twenty minutes they switch to a new center. So every twenty minutes I hear the terrible sound that is metal scraping against the floor. Every twenty minutes from 8:00 until 4:00. At first, I even tried to implement that rule that you get a consequence for scooting your chair too loudly, until I saw students actually try and slightly lift their chairs above the floor to stop the chair from making the sound. I then realized that I was being unreasonable and maybe a little bit frightening, so I decided to chill out. I still hate that sound though.
4. People who don’t do their jobs. No explanation necessary.
Things that are making me excited to wake up in the morning and go to school:
1. Seeing my students learning. There is truly nothing like the experience of teaching something to a child and seeing the moment when it clicks on their face. Best. Feeling. Ever.
2. Realizing that my kids are excellent writers. We are finishing up our first formal writing assignment of the year, and while it has been tedious, it has also been awesome to see how great they already are. Goal: Five paragraph essays by May. Maybe.
3. Hearing funny little kid stories and opinions on life.
4. Seeing funny little kid actions.
All in all life is good. Exhausting but good. Amen.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
If anyone is still listening...
Ok…I am a terrible blogger.
Really and truly, I know. I blogged what, three times? And my last blog was telling about driving to an interview? For all anyone knows I jumped ship and went back home. Please allow me to explain my silence.
My main reason for the silence of the blog was because last year turned out to be, perhaps the most difficult year I will ever live (dear GOD fingers crossed, ya’ll). I did in fact teach fourth grade, last year. If I had to guess, I would say about a third of my students come from the ninth ward (or the east as we refer to it), about a third come from the Treme/uptown area, and a third are from all over. It can be hard to tell. Since today is the fifth year maker of Katrina, I do not need to point out (but am anyway) that last years students were in first grade when Katrina hit. For many this meant either no, or little first grade year. Of course, many went to school in Mississippi or Texas, but you have to wonder how much a six year old baby can learn after they had to just evacuate their home. Just sayin.
So, my precious pumpkin fourth grade darlings were pretty chaotic. Actually, VERY chaotic. I went to a lot of happy hours after work. But I think all teachers do that. One could speculate the multiple possible reasons of said chaos. Some of life’s first memories for them are evacuating or staying in the super dome. Grown adults are still having trouble coping with the loss that this natural (and human made) disaster brought about, and little kids just do not have the coping skills. Not to mention that when my babies came back, more than a few did not return to amazing circumstances. Chaos begets chaos. And so it goes.
All this to say, that I did not want my little blog to turn into a place to vent. Had I kept it up, you undoubtedly would have heard stories about fights and lack of supplies or the millions of other things that made last year at times feel almost unbearable. I feared that I would not do justice in explaining all the wonderful, small things that happened as well. This would not have been because good things didn’t happen, of course they did. However I was not in a place to share. I had to come to terms with a lot of things on my own before I could, in a healthy way, relay the events to anyone else.
The last thing I ever want to do in perpetuate stereotypes about my kiddos who already have the odds stacked against them. So I was silent for awhile.
However, embarking on year two, I think I can start blogging again. Maybe because today, as I said before, marks the five year anniversary of Katrina and I am feeling particularly hopeful about life. Perhaps it is the zeal of a young teacher in the beginning of a new school year. Or maybe it is because I already love my new kids and feel both at ease and excited to teach them. Either way, I’m giving the blog a go.
Really and truly, I know. I blogged what, three times? And my last blog was telling about driving to an interview? For all anyone knows I jumped ship and went back home. Please allow me to explain my silence.
My main reason for the silence of the blog was because last year turned out to be, perhaps the most difficult year I will ever live (dear GOD fingers crossed, ya’ll). I did in fact teach fourth grade, last year. If I had to guess, I would say about a third of my students come from the ninth ward (or the east as we refer to it), about a third come from the Treme/uptown area, and a third are from all over. It can be hard to tell. Since today is the fifth year maker of Katrina, I do not need to point out (but am anyway) that last years students were in first grade when Katrina hit. For many this meant either no, or little first grade year. Of course, many went to school in Mississippi or Texas, but you have to wonder how much a six year old baby can learn after they had to just evacuate their home. Just sayin.
So, my precious pumpkin fourth grade darlings were pretty chaotic. Actually, VERY chaotic. I went to a lot of happy hours after work. But I think all teachers do that. One could speculate the multiple possible reasons of said chaos. Some of life’s first memories for them are evacuating or staying in the super dome. Grown adults are still having trouble coping with the loss that this natural (and human made) disaster brought about, and little kids just do not have the coping skills. Not to mention that when my babies came back, more than a few did not return to amazing circumstances. Chaos begets chaos. And so it goes.
All this to say, that I did not want my little blog to turn into a place to vent. Had I kept it up, you undoubtedly would have heard stories about fights and lack of supplies or the millions of other things that made last year at times feel almost unbearable. I feared that I would not do justice in explaining all the wonderful, small things that happened as well. This would not have been because good things didn’t happen, of course they did. However I was not in a place to share. I had to come to terms with a lot of things on my own before I could, in a healthy way, relay the events to anyone else.
The last thing I ever want to do in perpetuate stereotypes about my kiddos who already have the odds stacked against them. So I was silent for awhile.
However, embarking on year two, I think I can start blogging again. Maybe because today, as I said before, marks the five year anniversary of Katrina and I am feeling particularly hopeful about life. Perhaps it is the zeal of a young teacher in the beginning of a new school year. Or maybe it is because I already love my new kids and feel both at ease and excited to teach them. Either way, I’m giving the blog a go.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
So I'm here...
I have been in New Orleans for approximately 20 hours, and I am currently navigating my way through its pothole filled streets to a hiring fair. Teach For America has assured us all jobs, however we still have to interview to get them. No big deal. I love interviews.
What I do not love, is driving lost through a new city. What I also do not love is having a bright red car that attracts more attention as I drive through areas that literally have doors barely hanging on the hinges. New Orleans homes, and seemingly the city in general, has an essence that screams of contradiction. The homes, for example are absolutely regal. They have pillars in the front and grandiose balconies. Those same houses however are covered in dirt, and some are boarded off completely. They seem to scream, “I am here, and I down right now, but I am not gone.” Just like the city seems to scream as well. Here, down at the moment, but not gone. No going anywhere for that matter either.
After being prepped for an hour by TFA on how to interview, I walk boldly into a cafeteria filled with principals who really should decide to hire me. TFA talked to us about how to really own an interview and how to convince potential employers that they should hire us. I have no issue with this. Perhaps I am over confident, but I really do believe I am an asset to schools, and take no issue in telling them why. I also have no issue in asking them when they want to have a second interview.
During my first interview of the day, two mentor teacher from a local elementary school glanced at me, then my resume, then me again and bluntly asked, “You’re interviewing for a sixth grade position. What are your strengths?” After I spoke to them about my strength in classroom management and student engagement, they looked me up and down. One woman, still staring at my resume looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Baby, I see you majored in Christian Theology. You ain’t gonna find much Christianity goin’ on in your classroom.” I stared her in the eyes back and calmly said, “That’s fine, ma’am. I’m a Christian, but I’m tough,” to which both women burst into laughter and said in unison, “You’re gonna have to be. These are sixth graders, and they will make you cry.” What is it with veteran teachers? You would think that they were never young teachers themselves.
We finished out the interview with them giving me an explanation of their reading program that is used at the school. They use a scripted curriculum, which I have mixed feelings about. The interview ends rather abruptly, and they tell me, “If you don’t get an email from the principal, you didn’t get it. Good luck.” Oh. Okay.
48 hours into being a New Orleans resident I receive an email. All it says is “Good morning. Please call me,” and it leaves a number for the principal at Joseph A. Craig Elementary, the school interviewed for. All I can think is, “There is no way I got that job. Those teachers hated me. There is no way.” Wrong. I am officially hired to teach fourth grade. At present, I have no idea what that means. I’m not sure if I am teaching a traditional fourth grade all-subject classroom, or if I am teaching reading and writing only. Either way, I am officially hired. I get to be a teacher. What’s more is that I am teaching babies! They are practically my Zion kids. This I can wrap my brain around. I can visualize my classroom. Just like any new teacher, I’m terrified and excited. But right this second, I’m mostly excited. Now, to find a home…
What I do not love, is driving lost through a new city. What I also do not love is having a bright red car that attracts more attention as I drive through areas that literally have doors barely hanging on the hinges. New Orleans homes, and seemingly the city in general, has an essence that screams of contradiction. The homes, for example are absolutely regal. They have pillars in the front and grandiose balconies. Those same houses however are covered in dirt, and some are boarded off completely. They seem to scream, “I am here, and I down right now, but I am not gone.” Just like the city seems to scream as well. Here, down at the moment, but not gone. No going anywhere for that matter either.
After being prepped for an hour by TFA on how to interview, I walk boldly into a cafeteria filled with principals who really should decide to hire me. TFA talked to us about how to really own an interview and how to convince potential employers that they should hire us. I have no issue with this. Perhaps I am over confident, but I really do believe I am an asset to schools, and take no issue in telling them why. I also have no issue in asking them when they want to have a second interview.
During my first interview of the day, two mentor teacher from a local elementary school glanced at me, then my resume, then me again and bluntly asked, “You’re interviewing for a sixth grade position. What are your strengths?” After I spoke to them about my strength in classroom management and student engagement, they looked me up and down. One woman, still staring at my resume looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Baby, I see you majored in Christian Theology. You ain’t gonna find much Christianity goin’ on in your classroom.” I stared her in the eyes back and calmly said, “That’s fine, ma’am. I’m a Christian, but I’m tough,” to which both women burst into laughter and said in unison, “You’re gonna have to be. These are sixth graders, and they will make you cry.” What is it with veteran teachers? You would think that they were never young teachers themselves.
We finished out the interview with them giving me an explanation of their reading program that is used at the school. They use a scripted curriculum, which I have mixed feelings about. The interview ends rather abruptly, and they tell me, “If you don’t get an email from the principal, you didn’t get it. Good luck.” Oh. Okay.
48 hours into being a New Orleans resident I receive an email. All it says is “Good morning. Please call me,” and it leaves a number for the principal at Joseph A. Craig Elementary, the school interviewed for. All I can think is, “There is no way I got that job. Those teachers hated me. There is no way.” Wrong. I am officially hired to teach fourth grade. At present, I have no idea what that means. I’m not sure if I am teaching a traditional fourth grade all-subject classroom, or if I am teaching reading and writing only. Either way, I am officially hired. I get to be a teacher. What’s more is that I am teaching babies! They are practically my Zion kids. This I can wrap my brain around. I can visualize my classroom. Just like any new teacher, I’m terrified and excited. But right this second, I’m mostly excited. Now, to find a home…
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Well, three weeks down, two to go.
A rough break down of the week. Last Saturday I was mandated a day off my by instructional leader. He looked at the times that he was getting my lesson plans emailed to him (usually around 2 in the morning or so) and told me that I need a day to do no TFA things. So, as ordered, last Saturday I did not a single Teach For America duty. Not a single lesson plan. It was very pleasant. Granted it made for a week of all nighters, but Saturday itself was great.
Sunday to Monday I got two hours of sleep. Monday to Tuesday, another two hours. Tuesday to Wednesday I received four hours of sleep, which I actually felt was a success. On Wednesday I slept another four hours. It doesn’t feel like the days are separated by sleep, but rather by teeny tiny naps. The thought that keeps reoccurring in my mind is, “This lifestyle is not sustainable.”
To that end, in this past week I have been thinking a lot about how to teach in a way that you can actually do it forever. I am aware that the actual routine of teaching is not the crazy stay up until two in the morning schedule that my life currently reflects. However, I am also aware that it is an incredibly stressful job that requires much more than the typical nine to five job. Nine to five would be a cake walk. Teachers pull twelve hour shifts all the time.
Furthermore, the state of educational institutions is currently a tense one. I interviewed with a principal who was just hired in the most failing school in the most failing district in New Orleans. Apparently she was informed that she has one year to turn the school around or she is going to lose her job. How does any human work under that pressure? It isn’t like we are making machines that have sure fire outcomes. Education involves people’s lives and sometimes it just doesn’t happen in a year. Sometimes it takes two or three, or maybe more. I’m still naïve enough to genuinely believe that an educational turnaround can happen for everyone. But in one years time?
So how do you do it? How does someone who loves teaching remain a teacher without losing their minds from either anxiety or sleep deprivation? I am concerned that it isn’t possible. However, there are a few things I am going to start trying:
1. Sleeping. As much I would really like it to be, coffee simply cannot take the place of sleep. And I feel so much nicer when I sleep. Not to mention, I am a much better teacher when I am well rested, and much less likely to make small children cry. Just kidding.
2. For one hour a day, I am not going to think about school. I am going to lay out by the gigantic ASU pool and then go work out in the gym. I will eat dinner slowly and digest. Then I will get back to writing lesson plans. But that hour will be sacred. I can’t wait for the weekend for a Sabbath.
3. On the weekend, I will set aside one day to have no teacher things. This actually feels greedy and reckless. However, if I enjoy my mental health, it is necessary. And, coincidentally, biblical.
4. I am not going to beat myself up over lessons gone wrong. Or I will try not to. I am not going to feel guilty for not being perfect. I will try harder if something doesn’t work the first time, but I am not going to feel bad about not being an award winning teacher every single day.
I still might lose my mind. I am continuously infiltrated with horror stories about the schools I could be teaching in. Things like holes in the walls, no books, no air conditioning, and no running water are just starters. It’s time to put my big girl pants on and deal with whatever happens, and I’m certain I can do it. I just need to make sure I don’t lose my mind.
A rough break down of the week. Last Saturday I was mandated a day off my by instructional leader. He looked at the times that he was getting my lesson plans emailed to him (usually around 2 in the morning or so) and told me that I need a day to do no TFA things. So, as ordered, last Saturday I did not a single Teach For America duty. Not a single lesson plan. It was very pleasant. Granted it made for a week of all nighters, but Saturday itself was great.
Sunday to Monday I got two hours of sleep. Monday to Tuesday, another two hours. Tuesday to Wednesday I received four hours of sleep, which I actually felt was a success. On Wednesday I slept another four hours. It doesn’t feel like the days are separated by sleep, but rather by teeny tiny naps. The thought that keeps reoccurring in my mind is, “This lifestyle is not sustainable.”
To that end, in this past week I have been thinking a lot about how to teach in a way that you can actually do it forever. I am aware that the actual routine of teaching is not the crazy stay up until two in the morning schedule that my life currently reflects. However, I am also aware that it is an incredibly stressful job that requires much more than the typical nine to five job. Nine to five would be a cake walk. Teachers pull twelve hour shifts all the time.
Furthermore, the state of educational institutions is currently a tense one. I interviewed with a principal who was just hired in the most failing school in the most failing district in New Orleans. Apparently she was informed that she has one year to turn the school around or she is going to lose her job. How does any human work under that pressure? It isn’t like we are making machines that have sure fire outcomes. Education involves people’s lives and sometimes it just doesn’t happen in a year. Sometimes it takes two or three, or maybe more. I’m still naïve enough to genuinely believe that an educational turnaround can happen for everyone. But in one years time?
So how do you do it? How does someone who loves teaching remain a teacher without losing their minds from either anxiety or sleep deprivation? I am concerned that it isn’t possible. However, there are a few things I am going to start trying:
1. Sleeping. As much I would really like it to be, coffee simply cannot take the place of sleep. And I feel so much nicer when I sleep. Not to mention, I am a much better teacher when I am well rested, and much less likely to make small children cry. Just kidding.
2. For one hour a day, I am not going to think about school. I am going to lay out by the gigantic ASU pool and then go work out in the gym. I will eat dinner slowly and digest. Then I will get back to writing lesson plans. But that hour will be sacred. I can’t wait for the weekend for a Sabbath.
3. On the weekend, I will set aside one day to have no teacher things. This actually feels greedy and reckless. However, if I enjoy my mental health, it is necessary. And, coincidentally, biblical.
4. I am not going to beat myself up over lessons gone wrong. Or I will try not to. I am not going to feel guilty for not being perfect. I will try harder if something doesn’t work the first time, but I am not going to feel bad about not being an award winning teacher every single day.
I still might lose my mind. I am continuously infiltrated with horror stories about the schools I could be teaching in. Things like holes in the walls, no books, no air conditioning, and no running water are just starters. It’s time to put my big girl pants on and deal with whatever happens, and I’m certain I can do it. I just need to make sure I don’t lose my mind.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Scorpions and no sleep
Apparently Phoenix has scorpions. I’m not sure why this fact freaks me out as much as it does. Somewhere in my city girl mindset, I considered things like scorpions a novelty that exists purely in sci-fi movies or Hollywood. Wrong-o. They exist in Phoenix. Also it is blazing hot here, and I am using sweat glands that I have never used before. I am however turning a nice shade of brown instead of pale white, so that is wonderful.
ALSO wonderful thing about Phoenix is the FREE bus system. Well okay, they actually have like three bus systems, and I am sure they aren’t all free. But the nice convenient one that takes me to target when I need things like hangers and extra deodorant (see sweat gland usages mentioned above) is free so I am a happy girl. I also walked into a coffee shop today that served delightful iced coffee and people were listening to music and working on their laptops. I felt like I was in Seattle again for a second. Until I walked back out into the 100 degree weather.
I am excited to get a few spare hours here and there to explore the city for the short time I am here. We are so busy doing teacher training stuff here that it is quite literally blowing my mind. We teach tomorrow for the first time, and I am going to be in a third grade class, which makes me unspeakably happy. It is crazy, with every lesson plan I am doing I picture my Zion kids. Troublesome, since this is a distinctly different culture. It’s comfortable though. I am team teaching with four other people who literally just learned how to teach this past week, so I am lgoing to be the only one who feels comfortable. Campus is buzzing with nerves and anxious feelings.
There is about a million things I could write, because there are about a million things going on in my head. In the past week I have
1. Graduated from college
2. Moved out of the princess house
3. Moved away from the homeland
4. Moved away from the family
5. Moved away from the best friends
6. Moved into a dorm room (eww)
7. Learned how to be a teacher (again)
8. Met about three hundred new people (Hi, I’m Leah. I’m from Seattle. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat)
9. Set up a classroom
10. Wrote about twelve lesson plans
11. Did DRA testing for a bunch of third graders
12. Not slept at all.
13. Not ran at all
14. Ate really gross food.
Yep. One week down, four to go until New Orleans!
Love Y’all!
(Yeah, I just Y’all-ed!)
ALSO wonderful thing about Phoenix is the FREE bus system. Well okay, they actually have like three bus systems, and I am sure they aren’t all free. But the nice convenient one that takes me to target when I need things like hangers and extra deodorant (see sweat gland usages mentioned above) is free so I am a happy girl. I also walked into a coffee shop today that served delightful iced coffee and people were listening to music and working on their laptops. I felt like I was in Seattle again for a second. Until I walked back out into the 100 degree weather.
I am excited to get a few spare hours here and there to explore the city for the short time I am here. We are so busy doing teacher training stuff here that it is quite literally blowing my mind. We teach tomorrow for the first time, and I am going to be in a third grade class, which makes me unspeakably happy. It is crazy, with every lesson plan I am doing I picture my Zion kids. Troublesome, since this is a distinctly different culture. It’s comfortable though. I am team teaching with four other people who literally just learned how to teach this past week, so I am lgoing to be the only one who feels comfortable. Campus is buzzing with nerves and anxious feelings.
There is about a million things I could write, because there are about a million things going on in my head. In the past week I have
1. Graduated from college
2. Moved out of the princess house
3. Moved away from the homeland
4. Moved away from the family
5. Moved away from the best friends
6. Moved into a dorm room (eww)
7. Learned how to be a teacher (again)
8. Met about three hundred new people (Hi, I’m Leah. I’m from Seattle. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat)
9. Set up a classroom
10. Wrote about twelve lesson plans
11. Did DRA testing for a bunch of third graders
12. Not slept at all.
13. Not ran at all
14. Ate really gross food.
Yep. One week down, four to go until New Orleans!
Love Y’all!
(Yeah, I just Y’all-ed!)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Phoenix
I am here. I am exhausted. I am alive. I am going to bed and will write more later.
Love and miss you all,
Ms. Holliday
Love and miss you all,
Ms. Holliday
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