I have been in New Orleans for approximately 20 hours, and I am currently navigating my way through its pothole filled streets to a hiring fair. Teach For America has assured us all jobs, however we still have to interview to get them. No big deal. I love interviews.
What I do not love, is driving lost through a new city. What I also do not love is having a bright red car that attracts more attention as I drive through areas that literally have doors barely hanging on the hinges. New Orleans homes, and seemingly the city in general, has an essence that screams of contradiction. The homes, for example are absolutely regal. They have pillars in the front and grandiose balconies. Those same houses however are covered in dirt, and some are boarded off completely. They seem to scream, “I am here, and I down right now, but I am not gone.” Just like the city seems to scream as well. Here, down at the moment, but not gone. No going anywhere for that matter either.
After being prepped for an hour by TFA on how to interview, I walk boldly into a cafeteria filled with principals who really should decide to hire me. TFA talked to us about how to really own an interview and how to convince potential employers that they should hire us. I have no issue with this. Perhaps I am over confident, but I really do believe I am an asset to schools, and take no issue in telling them why. I also have no issue in asking them when they want to have a second interview.
During my first interview of the day, two mentor teacher from a local elementary school glanced at me, then my resume, then me again and bluntly asked, “You’re interviewing for a sixth grade position. What are your strengths?” After I spoke to them about my strength in classroom management and student engagement, they looked me up and down. One woman, still staring at my resume looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Baby, I see you majored in Christian Theology. You ain’t gonna find much Christianity goin’ on in your classroom.” I stared her in the eyes back and calmly said, “That’s fine, ma’am. I’m a Christian, but I’m tough,” to which both women burst into laughter and said in unison, “You’re gonna have to be. These are sixth graders, and they will make you cry.” What is it with veteran teachers? You would think that they were never young teachers themselves.
We finished out the interview with them giving me an explanation of their reading program that is used at the school. They use a scripted curriculum, which I have mixed feelings about. The interview ends rather abruptly, and they tell me, “If you don’t get an email from the principal, you didn’t get it. Good luck.” Oh. Okay.
48 hours into being a New Orleans resident I receive an email. All it says is “Good morning. Please call me,” and it leaves a number for the principal at Joseph A. Craig Elementary, the school interviewed for. All I can think is, “There is no way I got that job. Those teachers hated me. There is no way.” Wrong. I am officially hired to teach fourth grade. At present, I have no idea what that means. I’m not sure if I am teaching a traditional fourth grade all-subject classroom, or if I am teaching reading and writing only. Either way, I am officially hired. I get to be a teacher. What’s more is that I am teaching babies! They are practically my Zion kids. This I can wrap my brain around. I can visualize my classroom. Just like any new teacher, I’m terrified and excited. But right this second, I’m mostly excited. Now, to find a home…
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Well, three weeks down, two to go.
A rough break down of the week. Last Saturday I was mandated a day off my by instructional leader. He looked at the times that he was getting my lesson plans emailed to him (usually around 2 in the morning or so) and told me that I need a day to do no TFA things. So, as ordered, last Saturday I did not a single Teach For America duty. Not a single lesson plan. It was very pleasant. Granted it made for a week of all nighters, but Saturday itself was great.
Sunday to Monday I got two hours of sleep. Monday to Tuesday, another two hours. Tuesday to Wednesday I received four hours of sleep, which I actually felt was a success. On Wednesday I slept another four hours. It doesn’t feel like the days are separated by sleep, but rather by teeny tiny naps. The thought that keeps reoccurring in my mind is, “This lifestyle is not sustainable.”
To that end, in this past week I have been thinking a lot about how to teach in a way that you can actually do it forever. I am aware that the actual routine of teaching is not the crazy stay up until two in the morning schedule that my life currently reflects. However, I am also aware that it is an incredibly stressful job that requires much more than the typical nine to five job. Nine to five would be a cake walk. Teachers pull twelve hour shifts all the time.
Furthermore, the state of educational institutions is currently a tense one. I interviewed with a principal who was just hired in the most failing school in the most failing district in New Orleans. Apparently she was informed that she has one year to turn the school around or she is going to lose her job. How does any human work under that pressure? It isn’t like we are making machines that have sure fire outcomes. Education involves people’s lives and sometimes it just doesn’t happen in a year. Sometimes it takes two or three, or maybe more. I’m still naïve enough to genuinely believe that an educational turnaround can happen for everyone. But in one years time?
So how do you do it? How does someone who loves teaching remain a teacher without losing their minds from either anxiety or sleep deprivation? I am concerned that it isn’t possible. However, there are a few things I am going to start trying:
1. Sleeping. As much I would really like it to be, coffee simply cannot take the place of sleep. And I feel so much nicer when I sleep. Not to mention, I am a much better teacher when I am well rested, and much less likely to make small children cry. Just kidding.
2. For one hour a day, I am not going to think about school. I am going to lay out by the gigantic ASU pool and then go work out in the gym. I will eat dinner slowly and digest. Then I will get back to writing lesson plans. But that hour will be sacred. I can’t wait for the weekend for a Sabbath.
3. On the weekend, I will set aside one day to have no teacher things. This actually feels greedy and reckless. However, if I enjoy my mental health, it is necessary. And, coincidentally, biblical.
4. I am not going to beat myself up over lessons gone wrong. Or I will try not to. I am not going to feel guilty for not being perfect. I will try harder if something doesn’t work the first time, but I am not going to feel bad about not being an award winning teacher every single day.
I still might lose my mind. I am continuously infiltrated with horror stories about the schools I could be teaching in. Things like holes in the walls, no books, no air conditioning, and no running water are just starters. It’s time to put my big girl pants on and deal with whatever happens, and I’m certain I can do it. I just need to make sure I don’t lose my mind.
A rough break down of the week. Last Saturday I was mandated a day off my by instructional leader. He looked at the times that he was getting my lesson plans emailed to him (usually around 2 in the morning or so) and told me that I need a day to do no TFA things. So, as ordered, last Saturday I did not a single Teach For America duty. Not a single lesson plan. It was very pleasant. Granted it made for a week of all nighters, but Saturday itself was great.
Sunday to Monday I got two hours of sleep. Monday to Tuesday, another two hours. Tuesday to Wednesday I received four hours of sleep, which I actually felt was a success. On Wednesday I slept another four hours. It doesn’t feel like the days are separated by sleep, but rather by teeny tiny naps. The thought that keeps reoccurring in my mind is, “This lifestyle is not sustainable.”
To that end, in this past week I have been thinking a lot about how to teach in a way that you can actually do it forever. I am aware that the actual routine of teaching is not the crazy stay up until two in the morning schedule that my life currently reflects. However, I am also aware that it is an incredibly stressful job that requires much more than the typical nine to five job. Nine to five would be a cake walk. Teachers pull twelve hour shifts all the time.
Furthermore, the state of educational institutions is currently a tense one. I interviewed with a principal who was just hired in the most failing school in the most failing district in New Orleans. Apparently she was informed that she has one year to turn the school around or she is going to lose her job. How does any human work under that pressure? It isn’t like we are making machines that have sure fire outcomes. Education involves people’s lives and sometimes it just doesn’t happen in a year. Sometimes it takes two or three, or maybe more. I’m still naïve enough to genuinely believe that an educational turnaround can happen for everyone. But in one years time?
So how do you do it? How does someone who loves teaching remain a teacher without losing their minds from either anxiety or sleep deprivation? I am concerned that it isn’t possible. However, there are a few things I am going to start trying:
1. Sleeping. As much I would really like it to be, coffee simply cannot take the place of sleep. And I feel so much nicer when I sleep. Not to mention, I am a much better teacher when I am well rested, and much less likely to make small children cry. Just kidding.
2. For one hour a day, I am not going to think about school. I am going to lay out by the gigantic ASU pool and then go work out in the gym. I will eat dinner slowly and digest. Then I will get back to writing lesson plans. But that hour will be sacred. I can’t wait for the weekend for a Sabbath.
3. On the weekend, I will set aside one day to have no teacher things. This actually feels greedy and reckless. However, if I enjoy my mental health, it is necessary. And, coincidentally, biblical.
4. I am not going to beat myself up over lessons gone wrong. Or I will try not to. I am not going to feel guilty for not being perfect. I will try harder if something doesn’t work the first time, but I am not going to feel bad about not being an award winning teacher every single day.
I still might lose my mind. I am continuously infiltrated with horror stories about the schools I could be teaching in. Things like holes in the walls, no books, no air conditioning, and no running water are just starters. It’s time to put my big girl pants on and deal with whatever happens, and I’m certain I can do it. I just need to make sure I don’t lose my mind.
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